News Brief: 11/05/09 - 17/05/09

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Obama "to revive military trials"
"US Preseident Barack Obama is expected to announce on Friday [15th May] that he is reviving military trials for some of the detainees at Guantánamo Bay..." - Hmm...

German Motorway Strewn With Notes

"A man in Germany discovered the dangers of driving an open-top car when an envelope containing 23 000 euros (£20 600) blew off the back seat..." - Serves him right for being careless! What's a glove compartment for, apart from gloves?

Eurozone Economies Contract 2.5%
"The economies of the 16 countries that make up the eurozone declined by 2.5% in the first three months of 2009, the EU's statistics agency Eurostat said..." - In the words of John Wayne "aw, shit!"

Miss California Keeps Her Title
"Carrie Prejean is to be allowed to keep her Miss California title, in spite of allegations she broke her contract by posing for semi-nude photographs..." - Are we really surprised? The same state voted against same-sex marriage. Who really gives a shit what some preened idiot thinks of us, anyway?

Big Ambitions For Small Loans
"A teacher by training, Lynne Randolph Patterson never expected to find herself at the helm of a multi-national financial services company..." - Consdering the current financial climate, I can't figure out whether this is altruism or a new method of exploitation. I really want to believe in the former...

Secret Tianenmen Memoirs Revealed
"The memoirs of China's former communist leader who was sacked after the Tianenmen protests have been published..." - This should provide an interesting read.

Straw Drops Secret Inquest Plans
"The government is dropping plans to hold secret inquests without juries, Justice Secretary Jack Straw has said..." - Good! The less the UK turns into a Kafaesque/Orwellian mixture the better.

UK Workers becoming "overskilled"
"There are now too few jobs for UK graduates, and the gap between the supply of high-level workers and jobs for them is growing, a report suggests..." - In the words of John Wayne (again) "aw, shit!"

German and French Exams Show Drop
"One in five secondary schools is not presenting candidates for Higher German and one in 10 do not offer Higher French, BBC Scotland has learned..." - Urgh! The British arrogance regarding foreign languages disgusts and embarrasses me. Spanish, at least, is beneffitting from this deficit.

Ice Sheet Melt Threat Reassessed
"The collapse of a major polar ice sheet will not raise global sea levels as much as previous projections suggest, a team of scientists has calculated..." - Well, that's good. Doesn't mean we should all stop bothering about carbon emissions and recycling, though.

The Plant That Can Water Itself
"In the deserts of Israel, there is a plant that can water itself..." - No problems for this little fella, then, in times of environmental crisis.


Caught in the Crossfire: The Swat Valley's Fleeing Families
"Declan Walsh seeks out the refugees trapped in a brutal war between Pakistan's army and the Taliban after an uneasy and short-lived truce..." - why the army thought they could ever make a truce with the Taliban is beyond me, and now these poor civilians are paying for it.

Repossessions Rise by 50%
"A total of 12,800 homes were repossessed by lenders in the first three months of the year, 50% more than in the first quarter of last year, the Council of Mortgage Lenders (CML) said today...." - With most people renting privately, and the lists for council housing becoming ever longer, no-one is safe. Thanks very much Baroness Thatcher: I hope they come for your house, one day.

Sex and God Do Mix: According to "Catholic Karma Sutra"
"The correct Roman Catholic sexual position is not, as many might imagine, missionary, infrequent and with the lights out, but 'saucy, surprising and fantasy packed'..." - and then you tell your pervy preist all about it, afterwards, in the confession box.

Forget the Concertos or Whatever, Was Mozart Hot?
"Looks trump talent these days – and nowhere more so than in the US. Now even historical figures get the 'hottie' treatment..." - Goodness me, won't someone save us from ourselves!


Zapatero beats Rajoy in a National Debate for the Fourth Consecutive Time
"The Spanish Prime Minister, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, has won the State of the Nation Debate for the fourth consecutive time against leader of the opposition Partido Popular [Popular Party: Conservatives], Mariano Rajoy, according to the opinion of the Spanish public released this Friday [15th May] by Centro de Investigaciones Sociológicas (CIS; Sociological Research Centre). For 37% of the poll, the Prime Minister affirmed his authority in the debate this week in the Congress, against 14.4% who think Rajoy came out stronger..." - Not only are the PP a frightfully unpopular party, at the moment, but Rajoy is neither outspoken nor charismatic enough to even be thought of as a possible leader of the country. Having said that, we should always stay on guard.


BONUS NEWS ITEM
US Jail Workers Fired for Stun Gun Stunt
"Three US prison employees have been sacked for demonstrating their stun guns by zapping children..." - Ha! The little b@stards probably deserved it.

Comments welcome!

Image of the Week: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), my favourite classical composer; he's not too bad looking, either...