Hold the Front Page! Public Servants With Expensive Taste!

Gissa' Kiss! No? Alright then, go clean my brother's place...

So, apparently the UK newspaper The Daily Telegraph this morning published a comprehensive list of all current Labour MPs' expenses claimed over the last four years, including those of the Cabinet and Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

The list, including the most scrutinous costs incurred by ministers and run-of-the mill Members of Her Majesty's Parliament, was leaked to the paper and quickly released in order to avoid any possible speedy interception by the Dowing Street Press Office. The publication has already proven damaging and embarrassing, as such costs are claimed back from the Treasury at the expense of the taxpayer.

Former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott claimed £312 for the fitting of mock Tudor beams to the front of his constituency home in Hull, and was charged £210.79 for pipework, taps and to "refix a WC seat," in December 2004. Secretary for Wales Paul Murphy claimed for a new boiler after saying his existing hot water system was "too hot". Business secretary Lord Peter Mandelson claimed for improvements on his constituency home after he announced he was leaving Parliament to become an EU Commissioner, later selling the property for a profit of £136,000. According to the paper, the highest and most shocking figures were handed in by Communities Secretary (no, I don't know what that is, either) Hazel Blears, who reportedly claimed for three different properties in a single year, spending almost £5,000 on furniture in three months and claiming for stays at London hotels after selling her flat; and Prime Minister Gordon Brown, paying his brother £6,577 for arranging cleaning services for his Westminster flat for 26 months.

Naturally, several ministers have released statements and either apologised for their expensive tastes and assured us they will pay it all back, or they have defended their costs by upholding that all claims were made within the rules and reiterated the inevitability of such high figures considering many live within their out-of-London constituencies and need to commute and sometimes stay in the capital for ministerial business. Unfortunately for them, the supposed public outcry over such expenses will prove too damaging, and will no doubt be used by the opposition parties as ammunition in successive Commons debates and during the next election campaign.

Personally, I feel sorry for those who have come under fire over this. After all, they are human, and who hasn't made claims from their employer for costs? I certainly have, and I certainly will when I return to the UK (Year Abroad Students are liable to reimbursal of costs of over £300, incurred as a direct result of our circumstances). It is only natural MPs will do the same, if given the opportunity. Of course, some expenses are more dubious than others, and many prices are outrageously high considering how much Joe Bloggs pays. Environment and Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett found herself in trouble with the Fees Office after attempting to claim £600 for hanging baskets and pot plants, while claiming second home allowances of £72,537 from 2004 to 2008, despite having no mortgage or rent to pay on her constituency home in Derby; as well as living at the grace and favour Admiralty House in Whitehall, which enabled her to rent out her London flat. However, let's not forget that these people have been elected by the majority of the British People to represent them and look after their interests. How well the general public feel the UK Labour Party have fulfilled that remit will be evident at the outcome of the next general election. Until then, let them get on with their jobs!

In no way am I looking for excuses, nor am I an apologist for - or even a supporter of - the current British Government, but the recent attacks levied against it have been so great and so provocative that it's a wonder anyone has had time to come up with new policy initiatives, white papers, bills and new legislation. As with queues and weather-related chit-chat, we British are Olympian Gold Medalists at complaint and finger-pointing: and I include myself in that - I love to moan about other people's failings. If Brown and the Cabinet are not doing enough to combat illegal immigration and the "threat" of international terrorism (the two of which, of course are linked, apparently), they have failed to deal effectively with foreign diplomatic issues, or they have ruined the country economically; and on top of all this, they DARE to charge those of us who put them where they are for the cost of it all! The b@$£ards!

People need to get a grip, and look at this situation realistically. Firstly, as I have already pointed out, these people are working for the country. No, really! Who do you think runs and provides funding for the National Health Service, State Schools, Local Councils and their affiliated organisations, and just about every public sector occupation? Why, the Government, with the help of Her Majesty's Civil Service, of course. Parliament is made up of individuals, most of whom do live with their families outside of London, and must either commute or stay in a second home to be near the Houses of Parliament. None of this is cheap, and contrary to popular belief, an MP's salary is not that high. As of 1 April 2009, the annual salary of an MP stands at £64,766. That's less than my state secondary school principal's salary, or a consultant surgeon working only for the NHS; or, indeed, some of the highest-paid civil servants. I won't even mention the comparison between this amount the frankly gross amounts of earnings businessmen and women make in the private sector, and those of the friendly bankers and financiers, despite the current economic downturn. Alright, I just did, but there you are.

Second, life is expensive. As much as people hate the thought of the idea, living in the society we all enjoy so much costs a lot of money, and the infrastructure holding it together would instantly fall apart if taxes were lowered. It's an uncomfortable, but no less influential truth; and all politicians worth their salt - regardless of political party - are aware of this. Consider that politicians argue over how much to spend on what, and who should pay more or less; not over the amount of revenue the Government must make in order to pay for all those public services we enjoy. Thatcher's answer was to sell most of them all to private companies, and make a huge and instant profit; and one could argue that the seeds of the current financial crisis we're all so eager to blame the current Government for not weeding were planted by Mrs T and her GI lover, Mr Reagan, back in the Great 8os.

Third, this list only specifies Labour MPs' costs. What, so Cameron and his cronies are not doing exactly the same thing? He may say what he likes about encouraging a "culture of thrift" if/when he comes to power, but be sure none of this tighfistedness will affect his cabinet. People are not only keen to criticise any Government, but specifically this Government, having made a record for Labour of winning three consecutive elections and remaining in power for twelve years. People are bored and angry with all the "scandalous" revelations made in recent years; but these types of scandals have existed as far back as civilisation itself. Secret affairs, dodgy dealings, lies, and corruption are part and parcel of party politics everywhere. Its only now, in the age of accountabilty, do we as a populace feel those we elect to positions of responsibility have a duty to be transparent and squeaky-clean; and we've all been brainwashed into thinking that because we're "honest, hard-working Mr Everyman", we must be morally right in all things, and naturally feel some sort of righteous indignation when shown the truth of the system we permit on a daily basis. Imagine the sort of things Churchill, Pitt the Younger, even Clement Atlee had to do for the sake of British interest. We don't like to admit we'd do the same, or similarly, in such positions, but get whipped up into a frenzy if told to by the oh-so-powerful media. Just look at how we were told to think about Jade Goody.

Which leads me to my fourth and final point. Editors of The Daily Telegraph have been linked with the leadership of the Conservative Party for as long as I can remember, and has been a politically conservative newspaper for a very long time. Interesting, that at a time when the opposition is looking more and more appealing to the voters, and polls are swinging in favour of a win for the Conservatives, as well as the aforementioned discontent with Labour, that yet another scandal inciting public rage of the village mob variety is stoked and fanned by such a newspaper. I don't believe much in the notion of conspiracy in reality - and I certainly don't think there is anything of that sort going on, here - but I can't help join the dots.

So, next time your jaw hits the floor at the discovery of more shocking behaviour by those depraved animals walking in human skin, and calling themselves politicians, just remember that this is nothing new, not all of them are doing it, and get off your moral high horse: you'd be just as bad.