It's Called Satire...

Some heterosexuals engaging in a curious practice, yesterday

Let me make this absolutely clear: I've got nothing against straight people. Honestly, I'm ok with it. Some of my best friends are straight. I just don't understand this obssession they have with the idea of getting married!

Apparently, some of them want to do it, because they believe that a man and a woman should have the right to tie themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Or at least until they get bored of it, in which case there is a little-known get-out clause called a divorce. What I don't understand, is why they see this as their right. Everyone knows it's more fun (and far less complex) to either sleep around or faux-commit to an exclusive relationship, and occasionally play around. Why on earth would you want to sign a piece of paper - a contract, if you will - saying that you promise to genuinely commit and not play around?

I mean, I can understand it, I just don't think it's right. Typically, though, the straights are a contentious bunch, and ever since the beginnings of their growing acceptance into mainstream society, they've been banging on about their "rights" to anyone who'll listen - and to most who aren't, but we pretend we are. I suppose they think that if they shout loud enough eventually they'll get what they want. I don't know, though: as progressive as I consider myself to be, some things are sacred, such as anonymous hook-ups, multiple sexual partners, all-night clubbing, bitching over wine, and reading salacious literature. After all, you don't see any of us rushing to tie the knot, so why should they?

What do you think? Let the straights marry, or continue our adherence to equality, and maintain the ban on heterosexual union?

Sick, wrong and weird: a man and a woman claiming to love, honour and obey for as long as they both shall live...