Black And White? Shades of Grey!

An Interracial Family, Yesterday

Apparently, there's this big debate over whether a man with attractions to certain racial types is a racist or not. Everyone's yabbering on about it, from my good fried ka-ostheory (or whatever it is, these days; I can't keep up with his furious rebranding) to relative acquaintance Metroboi (sorry, but it's true; that's not to say there is no chance of becoming a friend, though...). Now, I have linked to their respective musings on the matter, but if I might be allowed to throw my two pence worth? Tough; I'm going to, anyway...

Firstly, the way I see it, there is nothing wrong with two white men banging each others' brains out. Nor is there anything odd about two black men doing the same. Nor two latinos, two asian guys, or two penguins. Well, maybe the penguings. Mixing up the recipe is always fun, too: one black and one white; one black, one asian, or latino, or one asian one white. The truth is IT DOESN'T MATTER. Where it gets tricky is with tastes. (I'm not counting the penguins, by the way: that is wrong.)

Metroboi is black, and he only likes white boys (feel free to correct me, if I'm wrong, by the way); in his own words, he "find[s] the look of black skin against white skin oh so sexy". I would agree, actually, and it so happens that the majority of men I have "known biblically" were white. However, people like he and I have frequently been scorned, ridiculed, and even ostracised by other black gay men on the [ludicrous] grounds of "turning your back on the race", or somesuch flimsily-constructed argument. Ka-os already breaks down why it is so on the grounds of the difference between sexual orientation and sexual attraction, so read his piece for elaborations on that theme. Metroboi was called a racist: it is the use of this word in this context which I want to scrutinise here.

Firstly, let's look at what the lexicographers at Oxford say about the word: -
Racism 1) the belief that there are characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to each race. 2) discrimination against or antagonism towards other races.

Hmm, yes, I can see how being attracted to a member of another race can be seen as discriminating or antagonising them...

So, it doesn't stand up to empirical research and evidence. How about connotations? Well, in this case, one might argue the whole "black/latino men have HUGE penises" myth (and it is a myth) is racist. I would agree, to a certain extent: I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked about the size of my manhood, and after a while one does start to feel judged by one anecdotal attribute pegged on to all who happen to share the same pigmentation gene, and this certainly fits in to the first definition given by the dictionary. However, even here, there is a certain amount of flexibility. For starters, we're talking about connotations, which means, no-one actually knows, nor is able to prove that all male members of one race have smaller or larger body parts than any other races. In any case, anyone who goes looking for guys with big dicks is probably not going to care about what colour it is, as long as it's some hideous monster capable of poking your eye out at forty paces. Also, people often confuse attraction to one race for a particular trait as racist, because it excludes the possibility of anyone from outside that race possessing it, too. For instance, I'm quite fond of latinos for their skin colour. Does that mean mixed-race (black and white) guys don't have that tone, too...? That was a slight cheat, seeing as the history of Latin America is a big old "melting pot" of races, from history, anyway. But the point still stands. One trait commonly attributed to a race can be found in those of other races: I knew a (straight) man who had the blackest nose and lips you'd ever seen. Finally, people who have problems with other people not fancying them on the basis of race have personal issues, and really should learn to face up to that fact. I don't give a damn if someone fancies me or not, just because I happen to be black; someone else will, and maybe because I know who Dennis Potter, David Hare and Peter Shaffer are, instead, and not because of who I was born to.

Which handily leads me to my final point - also hinted at by Ka-os. I have noticed that a lot of black people who are irritated by interracial relationships tend to bleat on about racism and use it as a magic get-out clause for a lot of things, underlining a particularly ironic hypocrisy. According to them, they are victims of racial abuse if told to get off the bus for bad behaviour by a white driver; they are victims of racial abuse if they are denied entry to a club for wearing the wrong footwear; and they are victims of racism if they hear a joke about black people. And yet these same people will not bat an eyelid when they use their version of the "reappropriated" word "nigger", despite the historical connotations; or have no problems persecuting white rappers and white people who dress with baggy jeans and wear bling with the word "wigga"; or even calling another black person a "bounty", or "coconut", because they are interested in "white" pursuits, such as the arts, literature, classical music, or simply don't sound as though they walked out of the woods and into civilisation at eighteen and don't eat like the wolves who resided there. Double standards? You bet your black ass.

Please note: this is not only a black problem, either. I can only use this frame of reference, but I'm told by my American friends of hispanic origin that similar issues have been circulating among the latino community, too.

So there you have it. Metroboi and I are not racist, just because we aren't attracted by other black men. We would, however, be perverts if we were turned on by penguin-on-penguin action...

Sick: Two Gay Penguins being "married", in China, apprently