Is This the Greediest Man Alive?It seems that this week, I shall mostly be attacking hate figures. Not content with criticising democratic abuses, religion and George W Bush, I move on to the Capitalist General, Bernard Madoff - the man who "mad(e)off" (always an excuse for a cheap pun) with US$50bn of investors' money, or tried to, at least, before being caught literally stuffing the dollar bills into his pockets.
Well, not quite. What he was actually doing was lying to all of his investors (shock horror), telling them his hedge fund investment scheme would offer them huge returns on the money they put in. In reality, all he was doing was taking larger amounts from later investors, and sharing it out among the earlier ones, who'd paid less, thus ensuring they would continue to "invest" greater amounts, and the cycle would continue. Meanwhile, Madoff was pinching a little bit for himself, in order to secure his own financial safety, making himself the only winner.
Last week, he was arrested and charged with "securities fraud", being later released on $10m bail.
Where do I begin? The fact that this case was nothing more than a glorified pyramid scheme? That the obvious danger in anything offering a lot more than what you put in is reminiscent of the phrase "too good to be true"? Or the frankly hilarious outcome of Mr Madoff admitting to his lies, proclaiming himself "broke", and then paying for his bail - I'll remind you of the amount: $10m - with his own money?
The only thing I can say is "good!" I don't feel in the slightest bit sorry for this man, who is nothing more than your classic con artist. I don't have much sympathy for his sucker clients, either, most of whom were either investment banks, bankers, corporations or simply rich; all of whom were already skilled thieves and crooks, and so therefore should have known better - after all, it takes one to know one. I have more respect for George Agdgdgwngo (pronounced Ag-dug-a-dug-gwengo), the fictional ugandan scammer from Channel 4's Fonejacker. At least he's inventive...
What does annoy me - and I mean what really annoys me - is the fact that this, alongside the initial circumstances of the global financial crisis, was allowed to go unnoticed for so long. For want of sounding like a die-hard socialist (I'm much more towards the centre than most people my age), this would not have happened if these people were watched more closely, and asked to account for the vast quantities of money they handled every day, instead of trusted to play with money collected from the bottom up.
Of course, Madoff is the latest in a long line of liars and conmen, but his unfortunate discovery just highlights, especially now, why we need to change the way we deal with money on a national and international level, and maybe that will inform ordinary people who run the risk of getting into debt. Becoming rich is very rare, and rarely honest.
Did he really say he was broke then pay for his own bail? That's hilarious. I must say it raised a smile when I heard of the British banks who were victims. Karma, karma, karma...
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